Both my grandmother and my great grandmother were named Martha… And honestly – after the past couple of years I have had I think they are BOTH trying to tell me something.

I got married and then (2) months later I got a side job. What was I thinking??

• I never got a chance to nest.
• Or – cook every night for my husband. (Well I don’t know about every night)
• Or – Organize my life.
• Before I knew it the weekend came and went – and the laundry was still not done.
• It was like a swap meet every morning just looking for draws.
• There was no food in the house.
• My husband refused to eat Ramen because it didn’t have any meat in it.
• The cat hated me and blatantly started to choose to live with my parents over me.
• Which was fine – because I would forget to buy her food.

Ugh.

All for the sake of networking and attempting to build my empire. And skills. And expressive talents.

But how the HELL did I think that I was going to build my empire – with no solid foundation??

Seriously, that’s Architecture 101.

[quote_left] This is the year to finally set myself free. [/quote_left] [quote_left] This is the year to finally dedicate to ME. [/quote_left]

In the past couple of weeks, I have painted a mural in my living room | Made Red Velvet Whoopie Pies from scratch | Made Biscuits from scratch | washed everything that we own | started to plan my garden for this year |

A lot of energy has been re-directed into my space. MY PLACE and it really feels good to be home. + I know that my husband appreciates it.

 

Where are YOU going to direct your energy in 2012?

…such a great lyric from MJ… I almost find myself avoiding to listen this this song because I know that it has the power to ‘set me straight’.

If you haven’t heard by now, the little teaching gig just didn’t work out the way I hoped.

- Was I too weak?

I would like to think of this situation as a test of will… AND I just could not allow my body to endure such pain. Mental and physical.

. Every day that God sent to me I was cursed out by a younger individual that could care less about my well being.

. Every day I had to have a student or 2 removed from my class room because I was ‘bothering’ them in the sense that I was attempting to teach.

. Every day I had a knot in the pit of my stomach.

. Every day I didn’t want to eat.

. Every day I cried.

. Everyday I knew that I would be there would slowly kill me inside.

AND

.Every day since I left I have THANKED MYSELF for getting out of such a toxic situation.

- Ya see… I was going to go and save the world!!!! Little did I know of how harsh the ‘world’ really is. I couldn’t even fathom that inner city public school student could be so lost. Everyone is now telling me that I need to write another book to share this experience…

- I may need to write another book as my own personal therapy :)